Everything's Cool as Long as I'm getting Thinner

Jess. 22. College grad. Decided to commit myself to healthier living because I was unhappy with where I was. 25 pounds down and going strong- another 20ish to go! I wish this wasn't in caps...

Meals of the last 24 hours.

Some are missing. Obviously.

I really wasn’t even hungry for dinner but I forced myself to eat. Real basic, zucchini with a table spoon of soy sauce and sauteed chicken.

I was offered a donut and I denied it.

Good job Jessica. Now drink your tea and eat an apple.

Dinnie tonight. 

I stupidly ate some cookie dough while I was cooking and couldn’t finish it all.

Stoooooopid

Some of yesterday’s food. .

Too lazy to elaborate on everything.

Made it to the gym last night

Probably the first time since last Summer if I’m being honest. I’ve worked out periodically since then but my home workouts are never that intense.

The getting there is always the hardest. Literally the working out isn’t hard. Once I’m there I’m motivated and find it hard to leave. But it’s honestly the anxiety of walking in, feeling like people are going to judge me, the workers are going to remember me and notice that I’ve gained weight. It’s ridiculous and I know that.

But really, I was driving there and kept reconsidering.

Because once I was there I was so happy and felt like it was easy to get back in the swing. Got in the zone, blasted Beyonce and did my thing.

Didn’t do anything too intense.

25 min on elliptical
15 min 3.5 speed on treadmill (fast walk)
And then maybe half hour of weights.

Trying to squeeze in time is still going to be difficult because I have a pretty active social life and work takes most of my time. But I’m going to try much harder.

I am sore but it feels good to be sore.

Dinner last night

Zucchini/ yellow squash with jalapeno and tbs of soy sauce

Asparagus with lite balsamic vinaigrette (15 cal/ tbs) 

4 oz chicken sauteed with a little Greek vinaigrette (a little too high calorie wise) and lemon pepper.
Breakfast 1:

3 egg whites
Red pepper flakes
Jalapeno
Tomato

I’ve hit a new low, or a new high depending on how you look at it.

I am now the highest weight I’ve ever been in my life. Higher than when I finished college.

I’ve been lazy, stressed, and would much rather be spending my time socializing than getting healthy. And it has shown.

Between getting a full time job and getting a boyfriend I have just royally screw myself over and lost the desire to really care about my health.

Went to the doctor Friday and was shocked to see the number on the scale as high as it was. Of course I’ve noticed/felt the weight gain but I was trying to ignore it or something.

I’ve refused to buy new clothing which has masked what I actually weigh because I’ve just been stuffing myself into my old skinny clothes. Lmao

Not doing to give myself a lecture. Just going to say I suck and need to be better.

My mom is traveling pretty much non stop the next six weeks which means no visiting Brian in the city during the week. Which in return is a blessing- gives me time to work out right after work and means eating out less often.

I’ve just been really unhappy with my appearance lately that I don’t even bother trying. No desire to go out to bars, or shop for clothes or even look nice to work. Very unlike me on all fronts.

Breakfast. 

3 egg whites, green peppers, 3 pieces of sliced Turkey, and red pepper flakes. 

And “Dieters” Tea…. trying it out. Highly doubt I’ll see a change.

You really can’t trust a scale

I need to get in th habit of measuring myself because that’s going to be the most accurate way to monitor weight loss.

We’re doing a weight loss challenge at work and it’s the SAME EXACT scale at work that I have at home. Weigh myself this morning at home, 161.6 Get to work- 163.4 

I can consider the variables: wearing clothing/ had water on the way to work but whatever. I’m going ti mentally exhaust myself if I focus on the number on the scale.

Not to mention, if you are building muscle, you’ll be gaining weight. Plus, your muscles tend to swell after working out. So the number is hard to gauge

I just always have a hard time measuring myself. Especially my waist. Do you take the measurement with your stomach completely distended?

Picture progress is probably another really good way to validate weight loss too. It’s really easy to NOT see progress when you’re used to seeing your body daily

pilates-freak:

Source.

I HATE diet pop. Disgusting.

pilates-freak:

Source.

I HATE diet pop. Disgusting.

(via jessisgettingfit)

buffyshot:

from IsThisFitness.com

My ass size is out of fucking control.

The positive is that I used to do a ton of squats when I was active on the workout train. So lucky for me, my butt is pretty formed and round.

However, it’s still grown in size because of the weight gain. So fitting all this ass in dem jeans is a nearly IMPOSSIBLE TASK.

Wear a skirt/ dress you say? Ah yes, if course. EXCEPT my ass is so MASSIVE that all, my skirts ride up in the back. So none of which look work appropriate!

So, I’m severely out of shape.
Ahhhh remember when I could run 3+ miles non-stop? And now I can barely survive Level 1 of 30 Day Shred. Embarrassing.